Long term dating relationships

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The four dimensions of intimacy are: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Shared Activities.

Here’s a quick exercise to check you and your partner's compatibility in intimacy.

Ask yourself the following: Does your partner’s communication lift you up, or bring you down?

Is your partner’s communication with you “soft on the person, firm on the issue,” or the other way around? If your relationship suffers from ineffective communication, the good news is that as long as you and your partner are willing, improvements can be learned quickly and put to use immediately.

Or, after endless arguments with no resolution in sight, they freeze emotionally and shut down.

Someone who freezes in a relationship typically goes through the motions on the outside, but has stopped caring on the inside.

They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years.

A friend may trigger your higher or lower tendencies.

Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let it go.

They focus on taking care of the issue rather than attacking the person. Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships.

In communication studies, this is known as being “tough on the person, soft on the issue.” An effective communicator knows how to separate the person from the issue (or behavior), and be soft on the person and firm on the issue.

An ineffective communicator will do the opposite – he or she will literally “get personal” by attacking the person, while minimizing or ignoring the issue.

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