Wanda on the dating game in living color
In Bow’s history lesson, she hints at slaves being raped by their masters, but largely, sticks to the narrative of loving interracial couples.And this is where it gets personal, because for a lot of us lightskinned black people, there is no conflict.Yet, there’s an important distinction between Bow and a large number of lightskinned people in the black community—Bow’s life as a biracial woman was started through love and consent.Her parents fell in love, got married and had a child they both loved and cared for. It’s very common for guys with kids to write in their OKCupid profiles: “My kids come first,” or “My daughter is the center of my world! You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. Plus, if you’ve gone through divorce or another crisis that landed you as a single parent, you are no doubt concerned about giving your kids extra care and sense of security. But it is even trickier if one or both of the parents put the kids before their partner. A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. After all, they can be so demanding — not to mention fulfilling.
My date has only the fondest memories of watching his dad court his mom on their weekly date nights and annual parent-only vacations — in addition to the family roadtrip. “My dad made it clear that his relationship with my mom was the center of everything, while he was also the best dad ever,” he said.) highlighted a 2005 essay by Aylete Waldman about the fact that she puts her husband and their fantastic sex life above their four kids. Four children with whom I spend a good part of every day: bathing them, combing their hair, sitting with them while they do their homework, holding them while they weep their tragic tears. If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world, I am not a good mother. In the event you don’t seek a romantic partner, where do you focus that energy if not on your children? Looking forward to that business trip even though you have to leave the kids at home?
Stop putting kids first Imagine a relationship that centers on the two of you, and all the stability and care your kids will take from that.
Accept that a truly wonderful relationship only multiplies the love available to your kids — not robs them of some of yours.
But, in reality, the episode addresses some of the most guarded, internal secrets within the black community—colorism, interracial dating, the black man’s fear of white women, and everyone’s fear of black women.
“Being Bow-racial” is Black-ish finally addressing the “ish” that looms heavily over its title and the results are stellar.