Warning sign of dating violence
We were walking up the stairs and he took a whole bunch of change out of his pocket and he said some terrible things and threw all of his money down the stairs because he was very angry that we had missed the train.And when that happened, I looked at that person and I said: "This is not a person I want to spend my life with!And please note: For those of you already in a relationship, these warnings still apply.They are a diagnostic tool for deciding whether your marriage needs a fix (or an exit strategy).It just recognizes that dating violence usually involves a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time.Because relationships exist on a spectrum, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive.Lying about where they've been or been with or what they've been doing. You might put it on the back burner but you're always going to be suspicious. The problem with these two behaviors is that they are often portrayed as "just in fun." When you get angry in response, you are accused of "not having a sense of humor." The elders advise you to beware of anyone who engages in mean-spirited sarcasm or whose teasing crosses the border into aggression. Somebody who is persistently, consistently, always sarcastic and critical, that should have been a warning sign to me that I was dealing with somebody who couldn't function very well in the world. It demeans the other person, that kind of mocking behavior.
But I have to put it first and foremost, because entering marriage after experiencing dating violence is still shockingly common, despite decades of warnings from researchers, physicians, and counselors.
During courtship, they say, people are can keep their anger toward their prospective partner under control.
Therefore, you need to look carefully at how he or she responds to frustrating situations and to other people.
Clearly, dishonesty to you is a probably deal-breaker.
As Pamela, 91, warns: All the sudden not coming home. Trust is a big issue and once you lose that, it's very difficult to regain. They believe that these are all warning signs of dishonesty that will spill eventually into your relationship.